Lessons in Human Nature

As we make our journeys around the sun (72 trips and counting for me), we continue learn more and more about human nature, both in ourselves and those around us, and Yours Truly is no exception, and I have learned a lot - A LOT - about human nature in the two years since my wife Marilyn passed away, and especially since I found a new relationship and a new marriage with Linda.

I can say that most people are kind and happy for the both of us, but then there are others.  I have neighbors who will not speak to me anymore, who will turn their heads and walk the other way when they see Linda and me coming their way.  I have other acquaintances who, while they may not be actually hostile about it, will refuse to acknowledge Linda, won't ask about her, and if they see us together, might grudgingly say hello to her.  When confronted about it, the usual response goes something like "Well, I just cared so much for Marilyn, that it's hard for me to see you with someone else."  The implication here is that I DIDN'T care for her, which offends me on so many levels I can't even begin to list them all.

I think that they feel like they are honoring Marilyn's memory by treating my new wife like shit, when in fact, Marilyn would be completely and totally appalled by such behavior.

Here is an example that occurred just last night.  We were leaving church after Mass (let that sink in: we were leaving church after Mass) when a woman of my acquaintance from not only church but from my Retiree Club and from the Caring Place walked up to us in the parking lot, said hi to me and asked me a couple of questions about the Club.  She completely ignored Linda.  As we got to our car and she walked on to her car I couldn't contain myself, and I said to her "I really want to thank you for completely ignoring and not acknowledging Linda just now.  Feel good about that, do you?"   No response but a blank look.

Contrast this to our experience on our Delaware vacation last month.  During the course of the week, we had occasion to say to various people that we met, that "we're newlyweds, we got married just nine months ago."  The response was universal:  "How wonderful" "congratulations" "how exciting".  Total strangers couldn't be happier.  Some people that we've known forever, not so much.

Such reactions over the past few years have caused me to winnow out many people from my Facebook Friends list, so many of  the people that I am writing about in this piece will never see this.  To those of you reading this who have been nothing but gracious, we thank you.