On Rules Changes......

Rules changes are, it seems, being proposed left and right for some of our favorite sports, so I thought that I would opine on a few of them.  You know....

Before I do that, though, I want to mention one aspect of last week's MLB All-Star Game.   Much hue and cry was raised among baseball's hidebound traditionalists and the legion of Joe Buck Haters about the fact that throughout the game players were fitted with earpieces and mics and were interviewed while the game was in process. While I can understand that there could be a safety issue  - a batter in the batter's box facing live pitching should not be interviewed - I loved it.  Why can't "Yelli and Belli"  or Francisco Lindor talk and answer  questions while the pitcher takes his twenty to thirty seconds between pitches?  It was fun, it was entertaining, and, first and foremost, it was taking place during an exhibition game.  I don't believe you will ever see this during a game that matters.

Now for those rules changes.

Many of the rules changes in baseball are being proposed in order to speed up the pace of play of ball games.  Did you see where Sunday's Dodgers-Red Sox game took 5 hours 40 minutes to play.  Granted, it was twelve inning game, but even when pro-rated it for nine innings, that was a 4 hour and 25 minute game.  C'mon Man!  Something really DOES need to be done about this kind of stuff.

Some of these rules are now being tested in the independent Atlantic League with the blessing of MLB.  

1. Balls and strikes called electronically by using existing computer technology.  Early returns - this has been in place for only a week - are positive, and no visible change to the "flow" of a game has been seen.  One jackass coach did get thrown out of a game for arguing and automated call.  (Good!)  I like this.  It should be implemented sooner rather than later.
2. In extra innings, start the inning with a runner on second base.  Some variance on this rule would be to not do this until the 11th or 12th inning.  I believe that this was experimented with in Spring Training, and it was going to be the case in the All-Star Game if it was tied after nine innings.  A game like the All-Star Game is exactly where such a rule could be tried out, and I was sorry that the game didn't end in a tie.  I would like to see how it would have worked out.  I really don't see this rule ever actually happening, but how much crazier is it than having sudden death OT in football, shoot outs in hockey games, or soccer games decided on penalty kicks?
3. On a wild pitch for passed ball, a batter has the option, regardless of the pitch count, of running to first base, or "stealing" first base.  I don't just like this rule....I LOVE IT!!!!  Think of the strategic options.  Weak hitting but speedy batters can "steal" first base and help spark a rally.  Power hitting thumpers are going to hold their position in the box in hopes of jacking one into the gap or over the fence on the next pitch.  Why didn't someone think of this before?
4. Relief pitchers must face a minimum of three batters (barring injury) , or pitch until the end of the inning.  Hell yes, put this one in place today.  It will reduce all those tedious in inning pitching changes that can turn an on-pace-to-a-less-than-three-hour-game into a three and  forty minute slog before you can blink your eyes.  For those of you who like "strategy" this will add a whole different kind of strategy for a manager to consider.  It may well spell the end of the Pitch To One Batter Lefty Relief Specialist, but who cares other than the families of Zach Duke and Oliver Perez.  It will also force teams to stock up on better pitchers, ones who can pitch to both LH and RH batters.

In the NFL, talks have opened for a new collective bargaining agreement, and one thing that the money-grubbing owners have put on the table once again is an 18 game regular season.  This time there is a fascinating caveat:  All players are limited to playing in a maximum of 16 games.  This addresses the Player Safety concerns that the league Punjabs are so concerned about (sure they are).  Personally, I don't like the idea of an 18 game season, but just think of the strategic Pandora's Box this rule would open up.

What two games do you sit your star future Hall of Fame quarterback?  Or running back? Or sack-machine pass rusher?  If you're Bill Belichick, do you sit Tom Brady against, say the Bills, only to have the Bills get so insulted that they get fired up and kick ass?   If you're whoever the Arizona coach is, do you sit prized rookie Kyler Murray against a powerhouse defense like the Rams or Bears, and sacrifice the chance to win a game in order to protect your prized rookie QB?  And can you just imagine the talk show second guessing if after Ben Roethlisberger plays a mediocre game yet eeks out a win (think last year's Jacksonville game),   Mike Tomlin decides to  go with Mason Rudolph in the following game against a supposedly inferior opponent, and Rudolph lights up Heinz Field with a 450 yard, four TD, zero INT game in a lopsided Steelers win over some NFL bottom feeder?  I can hear the "it's time for Ben to hang up the cleats" calls right now.

Coaches would positively hate this rule, but it sure would be a lot of fun, don't you think?

Do I think an 18 game season is going to happen?  The answer almost every question in life is Money, and there will be a lot of money at stake if the NFL adds two regular season  games.  The NFLPA is adamantly opposed to this for now, but of the Lords of the Realm throw enough of that cash their way, get ready for an 18 game season in the not too distant future.

"Spamilton" at the CLO Caberet

Marilyn and I took ourselves on down to the Greer Cabaret Theater this afternoon to see "Spamilton, An American Parody", and I have this to say about it.

If you have seen and enjoyed  "Hamilton", go see this.  

It you haven't seen "Hamilton", but are familiar with the music and the score, go see this.

If you haven't seen "Hamilton", but are a follower and fan of the Broadway musical theater, go see this.

It is a parody of Lin-Manuel Miranda's musical, and it takes some pointed, but loving, shots at the phenomenal success of his show, but it also parodies lots of other things currently going on on Broadway.  It was smart, cleverly done, and wonderfully performed by a cast of five actors and a musical accompanist on the piano (who also does a terrific bit with his version of King George III's "You'll Be Back").

"Spamilton" was "created, written, and originally directed by" Gerard Allessandrini, who has similar parodies on his theatrical resume.  All the actors were great, but special kudos to Erin Ramirez, the only female in the cast.  Among other bits, she performed as all three Schuyler Sisters with the assistance of two hand puppets, as well as portraying other notable Broadway divas that you would recognize.  Brilliant.

It is my understanding that Lin-Manuel Miranda himself saw this show performed in one of its earlier incarnations and gave it his enthusiastic endorsement.

Those "Hamilton" fans in the Pittsburgh area should make it a point to catch this show before its run ends in mid-August.  And if you've never seen a show in the CLO's Cabaret Theater, you're in for a treat.  Small and intimate, you're right on top of the stage, and you can grab a nice light pre-show meal and adult beverage before curtain time.  A great venue.

What Have I Read Lately?

Nobody asked, but I thought I'd tell you about a couple of books that I have just finished reading.

Erik Larson is a terrific writer of non-fiction, and I have written of him and his books (In The Garden of Beasts, Devil in the White City, Dead Wake) in this space in the past.  "Isaac's Storm" is one of his older books, published in 2000, and it tells the story of a devastating hurricane that struck the coastal city of Galveston, Texas  in 1900.  He centers his narrative around Dr. Isaac Monroe Cline, the man who headed up what today we would call the "Weather Bureau" in Galveston.  It is a story of hubris and bureaucracy that existed at the time that allowed the human results of such a calamitous event to become far more devastating than they needed to be.  (Not-so-Fun Fact:  More people died in the Galveston hurricane than died in the Johnstown Flood and the San Francisco Earthquake combined.)

As it was in his other books, Larson's descriptions of the events as the storm enveloped Galveston are remarkable and totally compelling.  On the down side, he spends a lot of time writing about the science of meteorology (isobars, barometric readings, low and high pressure pockets).  It got to the point where I kind of began to skim over those parts.   It was raining a lot and it was really, really windy.  That would have sufficed.

Not the best of Larson's books, in my opinion, but a worthwhile read, nonetheless.  Three stars from The Grandstander.

By the way, a search on the Google Machine tells you that Larson's next book will be coming out this Fall.  It is called "The Splendid and the Vile" and it covers the first year of Winston Churchill's first term as Prime Minister of Great Britain.  Some have termed it a sort of a "Downton on Downing"  look at this darkest hour in Britain's history.  Here is how one pre-publication write-up describes it: 

"The Splendid and the Vile promises to take readers out of today’s political dysfunction and back to a time of true leadership, when Churchill’s eloquence, strategic brilliance, and perseverance bound a country together in the face of unrelenting horror."

Knowing what Larson has done with such historical events, I can't wait to read it.

This book has spent time on the New York Times best seller list this year, and was a selection for Mrs. Grandstander's book club.   It looked intriguing to me, so I read it.  It is a novelization of the story of actress Hedy Lamarr - her rise as a young actress in her native Austria, her marriage at age 19 to Fritz Mandl, an Austrian arms manufacturer fifteen years her senior and one of the wealthiest men in Austria, how Mandl sided with both Mussolini and Hitler, Lamarr's escape - and that's what it was, an escape - from this abusive marriage, and her arrival in Hollywood where she became a prominent movie star. 

More importantly, it tells of how Lamarr teamed up with Hollywood composer George Antheil in 1942 to invent a radio guidance system to be used for more accurate guidance systems in torpedoes and other weapons.  Their invention was approved by the US Patent Office, but rejected for actual use and development by the War Department for various bureaucratic reasons (even in wartime!).

Eventually, Lamarr was recognized for her scientific accomplishment.  The technology that she developed is a major component of the wireless technology that enables us today to have WiFi technology.  Yes, the fact that each of us are attached to our cell phones 24/7 can be traced, in part, to technology that was developed by the beautiful Hedy Lamarr!    Both Antheil and she were posthumously inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014.  She was indeed more than just another pretty face.

Three stars from The Grandstander.

Reading this book prompted me to do a little research on Miss Lamarr.  She was indeed beautiful, as these photos will attest:

She was, in fact, married to the so-called "Austrian Merchant of Death" Fritz Mandl, and he was certainly not a good guy.  I do not know how many of the details of the marriage spelled out by author Marie Benedict, a Pittsburgh area resident, by the way, are real or inflated for dramatic purposes, but it is a novel, so one must, I suppose, keep that in mind.

In 1974, she filed a $10 million invasion of privacy lawsuit against Warner Bros. over the parody of her name ("Hedley Lamarr")  used in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles."  The suit was settled out of court for a nominal sum and both Brooks and the studio apologized for "almost using her name."

Google will also give you a trove of great quotations from Miss Lamarr if you just type in "Hedy Lamarr quotes."  Here are some good ones:

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things, money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.

I advise everybody not to save: spend your money. Most people save all their lives and leave it to somebody else. Money is to be enjoyed.

She was, it turns out, a most interesting woman.

Oh, and I can't end a post about Hedy Lamarr without including this clip of perhaps her most famous single line of dialog from her Hollywood career.  From the 1942 movie, "White Cargo".....

To Absent Friends - Jim Bouton

 

Jim Bouton

1939 - 2019

Jim Bouton died today at the age of 80, a victim of dementia.  He had what can best be described as a mediocre career (62-63 W-L, but a career ERA of 3.57 would make him an all-star in 2019).  He pitched in two World Series, compiling a 2-1 record and a 1.48 ERA, and from 1965 until 1977, he was the answer to this trivia question: Who was the last Yankee pitcher to win a World Series game?

Bouton will be remembered for none of that, however.  Rather, he will be remembered as the author of the book "Ball Four".  Published in 1970, it was a diary of his 1969 season with the expansion Seattle Pilots as he tried to come back from arm miseries and resurrect his once promising career.  It was a "warts and all" look at major league baseball and the men who played it, and it forever changed how sports are written about, and how we view the men and women who play them.

Drinking, drug abuse, carousing, womanizing, the unique sub-culture of "Baseball Annies", and some of the out and out inanities that populated the baseball culture back then (and probably still do) was new to a reading audience that like their sports heroes to to be "Aw, shucks" Frank Merriwell types.  Hell, the stuff he wrote about his manager in Seattle, Joe Shultz, might have been the best and funniest stuff in there.  Shultz hated it, but, face it, were it not for "Ball Four", Joe Shultz would be totally and completely forgotten today by anyone except his immediate family.

Nothing however, captured the fancy and raised the ire of the world more than what Bouton wrote about Mickey Mantle.

If anyone personified the All American Boy image in the 1950's and -60's, it was Mickey Mantle.  In "Ball Four", we learned that Mantle was a heavy drinker, often showed up to games when he knew he wasn't going to play drunk, a rampant womanizer, an occasional peeping Tom, and, oh yeah, he often told little kids seeking autographs to f--- off.   For exposing the feet of clay of America's baseball hero and for violating the so-called "sanctity of the clubhouse", Bouton had himself a best selling book, but he also was pretty much ostracized from baseball for the rest of his life.

Back in 2005, I reread "Ball Four" for the first time in decades.  I also read the Afterwords that Bouton wrote in two subsequent re-issues of the book over the years.  I then did  presentation for the Pittsburgh SABR Chapter called "Ball Four Revisited."  I opened my talk by saying that if someone under the age of forty or so were to read "Ball Four" for the first time in 2005 (or in 2019 that matter), the first thing that they would say is "What was all the fuss about?"  That is how much Bouton and "Ball Four" changed the landscape of how sports were reported upon and written about since its publication in 1970.  It is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose, as to whether Bouton should be praised or damned for that.

In those Afterwords, Bouton talked about his life after "Ball Four."  He had some gigs in baseball, on radio and television, and even in the movies, but he was still viewed as a pariah, until George Steinbrenner invited him back, finally, to one of the Yankees old-timers events, where he was received warmly by the fans and the Yankee Family.  He also wrote of how he was able to make his peace with Mantle late in the Mick's life.  It was a sweet story.  

He also told the story of how he built a stone wall on his property in Connecticut, I believe, in his later years.  When he was done, he measured out the wall and found that it was exactly sixty feet, six inches long.  That may or may not be a true story, but if it isn't, it should be.

RIP Jim Bouton.

Bucs At the Break

On June 25, the Pirates sat at 36-40, had come off of a recent seven game losing streak, were continuing to parade a string of minor league pitchers out of the bullpen, and were about to embark upon a series of thirteen games against teams with better records than they had (Astros, Brewers, and Cubs).  The potential certainly existed for the Pirates to totally blow themselves out of any hopes of contending for post-season positions.  

And it certainly looked that way when they dropped that opening game of the stretch to former teammate Gerrit Cole and the Astros.  However, they bounced back with two blowout wins over the Astros, and finished up that thirteen game span leading up to the All Star Break with a record of 8-5.  They are still in fourth place in the NL Central, but they are only 2.5 games out of the wild card spot, and, more significantly, only 2.5 games out of first place in the division.  And they have won many of these games in simply amazingly exciting ways.  

I have to admit, I did not see them coming through this stretch as they have.  After the Break, they face another thirteen games against teams above them in the standings, Cubs, Phillies, and Cardinals.   If they can fashion another 8-5 record, or better, in those games, then you have to think that the Front Office will simply HAVE to make an effort to add a piece or two to put the team into a position to make a run for a playoff spot.

They have gotten to this point mainly with an unbelievably potent offense, led by the two guys you see above, Brian Reynolds and Josh Bell.  Reynolds, came to the team in the Andrew McCutchen trade two years ago and is a solid candidate for  Rookie of the Year honors.  In 67 games, he is hitting .342 with 7 HR, 33 RBI, and an OPS of .950.  Bell has been other worldly this season.  In 88 games, he is hitting .302 with 27 HR, 84 RBI (best in all of MLB), and a 1.024 OPS, and while it is totally unfair to make such a comparison, he is having  they type of season the likes of which I have not seen with the Pirates since Willie Stargell was in his prime.  I was in attendance at Friday's game and saw him hit a three run home run that was LOUD off of the bat, with an impossibly high arc to it, and that cleared the PNC Park right field stands with ease.  The only word for it was "majestic".  Even thought he Pirates ended up losing that game, it was worth everything to be there just to see that home run.

I am still concerned with the Pirates pitching.  Starting pitching, thought to be the strong point coming not the season, has been wracked by injuries and inconsistencies.  The bullpen, save for Felipe Vazquez, has been terrible, as pitchers like Geoff Hartleib, Montana DuRapau, and Doyvadas Neverauskas keep getting trotted out and getting pummeled.  Something has to be done to improve upon the pitching staff if the team is to contend.

In any event, this team has earned the right to be watched closely, and I, for one, am looking forward to see how these next thirteen games evolve.

#letsgobucs

Solving A Problem

When we took delivery of our brand new Chevrolet Equinox seven years ago, I was amazed that it contained this piece of new technology:  A USB port that allowed you to plug in your iPod or phone that would (a) keep that device fully charged, and  more importantly, (b) enable you to listen to music and podcasts that you had stored on your device through he car's audio system, a feature that has given me countless hours of pleasure over the years.  

Then, all of  sudden, about a month ago, this whole deal stopped working.  When I tried to play something from my phone, a message appeared on the screen that said "No Files Found".  Consultations with both my Chevy Service Department and the technicians at Apple produced the same conclusion:  Updates that kept getting pushed on to the phone's operating system eventually outstripped the technology in my now ancient seven year old car.

What to do?  I considered the following:

• Listen just to the phone directly, which produced a "tinny" sound in the car.  Not satisfactory.
• Listen to the phone using ear buds.  That would produce great sound, but not at all safe while driving.  Not a good option.
• Buy a new iPhone.  I'm sure that this is what Apple would recommend, but don't want to spend a couple of hundred bucks when I don't really need to do so.  Not a sane option.
• Buy a new car.  I'm sure that this is what Chevrolet would recommend, but spend thirty-plus grand when I have a perfectly good car?  A totally insane option.

After discussing this knotty little conundrum with my 21 year old nephew Nathan, I did the following.

Went to Target and bought this:

A portable Bluetooth speaker (which sounds GREAT, btw)  that fits right into the cup holder.  

Twenty bucks.  

Problem Solved!!!

To Absent Friends - Arte Johnson, Sid Ramin

The entire month off June passed without The Grandstander noting the passing of a single Absent Friend.  In that regard, June 2019 was kind of like DiMaggio's 57th game in Cleveland back in 1941, but I digress.  In any event, on the third day of July, I was made aware of two deaths that deserve remembrance.  

Let's take them alphabetically....

Arte Johnson

1929 - 2019

Few television shows in my lifetime took the country by storm as did "Rowen and Martin's Laugh-In" when it hit the NBC airwaves back in 1967.  If you were around then, you know what I am talking about, and you remember the cast of characters and all of the catch phrases and regular bits.  One of the stars of Laugh-In's troop of regulars was comic actor Arte Johnson, who died yesterday at the age of 90.

Johnson had an acting career that stretched from 1954 up until 2005 and included an astonishing 147 acting credits in IMDB, but he will be forever remembered for his varying roles on Laugh-In.  From the guy in the yellow rain suit who always fell on his tricycle, to the German soldier peeking from behind the bushes and say one of the shows great catch phrases, "verrrry interesting"....

to Tyrone F.  Horneigh, the classic dirty old man who was constantly pestering spinster Gladys Ormphby, played by Ruth Buzzi, on the park bench with classic double entendres, only to get beaten to a pulp by Buzzi with her purse.

After hearing the news of Johnson's death yesterday, I went deep into the YouTube rabbit hole looking at some of these Tyrone-Gladys bits and I found myself laughing heartily.  This particular one was my favorite:

Yep, Laugh-in and Arte Johnson are still making me laugh, fifty-two years later.

********

I owe my pal Rob Tuchman a debt of thanks for making me aware yesterday of the death of Sid Ramin at the age of 100.  I confess that I did not know the name when I first saw it, but it turns out I certainly knew his work, and he is the kind of guy who needs to be noted.

Sid Ramin

1919 - 2019

Ramin was a composer and a musical orchestrator of great distinction.  He won an Academy Award for his orchestration on the 1961 film "West Side Story", a Grammy Award for that film's sound track album, and two Emmy Awards for similar work that he did on the television soap opera, "All My Children".  He did musical work on television series such as "The Simpsons", "The Office", "Gilmore Girls", and "Perfect Strangers" among others.  He wrote the 1960's hit song "Music To Watch Girls By", a song which was included in one of play Dan Bonk's favorite movies, "The Dish" (2000).  He worked as recently as 2018, when he was credited for musical work on the movie "A Simple Favor".  But his piece de resistance may well be the fact that he wrote the theme song for "The Patty Duke Show".  Yep, the guy who worked with Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim on "West Side Story", one of the great musical works of all time, also wrote this classic couplet:

"Patty likes to rock and roll

"A hot dog makes her lose control"

As I said above, the passing of a guy like this simply HAS to be noted!!

RIP Arte Johnson and Sid Ramin.  They both had great runs.