From Linda, Special Guest Blogger

In my most recent Grandstander post, I told the story of my new relationship with Linda Mulzet.  In a mere three days, the response to that post - over 400 views - is perhaps the largest one in the twelve years that I have been writing this Blog, and the positive comments that I have received from it when I posted it on my Facebook page has truly overwhelmed both Linda and me.  We are so grateful.  So much so, that Linda has asked for "equal time" here in The Grandstand, so, with deep gratitude for her kind words, I turn it over to her.....

February 27, 2022

BOB

On February 25, 2022, The Grandstander a/k/a Bob Sproule, wrote an incredibly raw and heartfelt blog, simply titled “Linda.”  In grand Bob Sproule style, he chose his Grandstander platform along with a tag to Facebook, to share with friends and family, the news that his friendship with a gal named Linda, had unexpectedly and unexplainably turned into a “couples” relationship.

Amid his continued devastating grief from losing his beloved wife, Marilyn, after 47 years of a truly blessed marriage, he found himself in a position to explain to the world, how “two things can be true at the same time.” 

The late, great Paul Harvey, ended each of his broadcasts with, “now you know the rest of the story.”

I assure you that there are several facts that Mr. Grandstander left out of his blog dated 2/25/2022, simply titled “Linda.”

And now for the rest of the story, told by that gal named Linda.

In October 2021, grief came upon many of us; we suffered an incalculable loss. Marilyn’s passing touched many.  Some lost a sister, an aunt, a Great-Aunt, a life-long best friend, a cherished co-worker; most notably, a beloved wife.

I regretfully could not attend Marilyn’s funeral, due to a Covid exposure.  I reached out to Bob to let him know I could not attend assuring him he undoubtedly would be surrounded by many- so many that I believe I referred to it as a “blur” and that when the “blur” ended, I would be there to listen.

I was trained to “listen”, it’s what we do at The Caring Place, and I was unfortunately correct in feeling that “The Man, The Myth and The Legend” at The Caring Place, (yes, that is what Bob is endearingly referred to by many at the Caring Place), was going to be unable to practice at his darkest moment, the 12 years of teaching grief processing he so graciously shared with countless families. 

I am writing this part of the story to assure all of those in Bob’s life, his statement that he “remains devastated by her death”, is truer than true.  Darker than dark.  The Grief Journey never ends; the griever’s needs never end.  Yes, a gal named Linda may be sprinkling a little sunshine into his life, but that does not take away the cruel reality that Mare is gone, and he misses her so.

Fast forward to the Hilton Head trip.  Yes, as Bob wrote, it was his first trip taken since Marilyn died.  I travelled with him and got to experience Hilton Head for the first time through his years of vacationing there with Marilyn.  The sights and sounds of the Island were beautiful, our weather was unseasonably warm for February (mid 70’s) and the food was amazing!  I am sure the Grandstander will be highlighting all the wonderful details of a week full of wonderful adventures.  I, being the author of “the rest of the story”, need to continue to share the other side.  the side that found me holding the hand of a wonderful man who stood vulnerably in the ocean, fulfilling one of the promises made to Mare, that she would one day be returned to the place she dearly loved.  The side that found us wiping tears from both of our eyes as he gently placed some of her remains in the sand.

As Bob wrote in his blog titled “Linda”, “at the darkest moment of my life, Linda has brought and continues to bring joy to me.  I am so lucky and so grateful that she is a part of my life.”  I too, am so lucky and grateful to be a part of Bob’s life.  I believe in higher intervention and trust we were put together for reasons yet to understand.  As grateful as I feel to be a part of his life, I will never forget or accept WHY we were able to be a part of each other’s life and will continue to honor Marilyn amid our relationship.  Looking back on the evenings at The Caring Place while I held her hand and we all recited The Caring Place pledge, “I am here for you, you are here for me, we are here for each other,” I am brought to my knees in both sadness and joy.

I bring you the rest of this story as I know from the incredible outpouring of responses to Bob’s post, he is truly loved by all of you and want you to know how much that means to him and how much he needs every one of you!  I am truly blessed to be a part of his life and appreciate all the well wishes that were addressed to Bob & me.  A very special shout out to all the amazing “Littles” out there. “La Cheeserie!”

Please remember all those who grieve.  The Grieving continues.  Send sympathy cards MONTHS after a loss (receiving them all at once is both overwhelming and sad when they stop being received), take the time to call the griever (texting is NOT enough), a voice needs to be heard and please make the calls in the evenings, when the loneliness is the hardest to bear.   Do not judge decisions made by a griever.  They are coping in their own way, in their own time.  And please, remember, even if it appears someone has a sprinkle of hope in their life, they are still unfathomably grieving, still crying, and still processing how to get out of bed each day.  A sprinkle of hope is not enough; it takes a village.

“Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you’ll never walk alone.” – Rodgers & Hammerstein, Carousel

And “Now you know…. the rest of the story.”