When we last saw "Hawaii Five-0" back in the spring, that goofy bald guy was taking Steve to Japan to meet "Shellburn" and all we saw was an incredulous look on Steve's face, Chin's wife had been shot, Kono was dumped overboard a ship in the middle of the ocean while gagged and handcuffed, Danny was, well, I can't remember what sort of pickle Danny was in at the time, Wo Fat was in prison, and all sorts of evil and hinky doings were being orchestrated by some Third-String Baldwin Brother.
As the third season of the new "H5-0" opened last night...
- "Shellburn" turns out to be Steve's mother, who he thought was killed 20 years ago. Turns out that before she fell in love with McGarrett, Sr. and decided to become a mother, she was a spy for a "secret intelligence agency", she killed Wo Fat's father, which caused the government to put her deep undercover for the last 20 years. This led to Wo Fat finding and killing Steve's father, while still looking for "Shellburn". Now an understandably miffed Steve is bringing his mother back to Hawaii (safe to do since Wo Fat is being transferred to a "super maximum security prison" on the mainland). He also has to figure out how to break the news to his sister that their mother is still alive.
- You follow all that? No, well, I didn't either.
- Chin's wife dies, whereupon Chin punches his fist through a wall, stands by her slab in the morgue for two straight days, and actor Daniel Dae Kim proceeds on a course that promises to redefine "bad acting".
- Kono gets rescued by her son-of-the-Japanese-mobster boyfriend, who jumps into the ocean at night and somehow finds her as she is sinking to the bottom. Like that could possibly happen.
- Danny seems to be involved with yet another custody issue with his ex-wife who wants to move to Las Vegas and take their daughter with her.
- Wo Fat, while being transferred to this super-duper prison on the mainland, get sprung in the a prison break that is so incredulous, they wouldn't even use it in a James Bond movie. This is orchestrated, by the way, by the Third-String Baldwin Brother.
- The goofy bald guy is no longer around, as he will be starring in some new series this fall, the name of which I cannot remember, and which will probably be canceled by Thanksgiving, which means we will probably see this guy yet again in Hawaii.
- Well, all sorts of pyrotechnics follow, including a shoot out between the Five-0 crew and the gang of the Third-String Baldwin Brother in a Honolulu traffic jam where not a single civilian gets hurt. Automatic weapons for everyone! Kono manages to shoot a bad guy in such a manner that had me leaping for the rewind button, Chin shoots and kills Third-String Baldwin Brother in a fashion that was so derivative of Clint Eastwood that I am surprised that he didn't say "Feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?"
- Wo Fat and Steve's mother confront each other with automatic pistols pointed at each other point blank. The scene shifts to downstairs in the house, shots are heard, Steve runs upstairs to find his mother unharmed, Wo Fat no where to be seen, and Mom saying merely "he got away". Huh? (This scene causes both Marilyn and I to say "oh, you've got to be shittin' me", or words to that effect.)
- The show ends with Steve's Mom being put on a plane to go into deep cover once again until Wo Fat is brought to justice. Only when the plane is in the air do the Five-0 guys learn that the only bullets found in the room where Mom McGarrett and Wo Fat shot it out came from Mom's gun and were fired into the floor, not at Wo Fat. It seems that Mom let Wo Fat get away. Zounds!
- Oh, and Steve never did tell his sister that their mother was still alive.
As you can probably pick up from my tone, all of this seriously stretches credulity, and one has to wonder if this version of "Hawaii Five-0" is circling the shark and getting ready to jump it. For sure, we are in for another season of Steve chasing Wo Fat and wondering just whose side his mother is/was on, of Danny fighting with his ex, of Chin chewing the scenery as he mourns his dead wife, and of Kono looking pretty and doing neat stuff with the computer in the Five-0 headquarters.
Tonight, I look forward to the premiere of the new show "Vegas" starring Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis. Not a lot of the new shows this season look very promising, but this one does.
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